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As everything was ready with the exception of the eggs, I quickly started the shepherds pie and topped with cheese then covered it with cling film and placed it in the fridge ready for tonight.Once the k**s had started their breakfasts, I gave them all money to pay for their dinners for the week and with most of them ready to go it was almost time for me to take Maureen’s breakfast upstairs. She sat up in in her nightgown then told me my trial for the cook’s job was over and the home would be paying me as of last week forty pound per week along with accommodation and meals. I reminded her it was my day off and I wouldn’t get back till later. It took me 5 mins to see Rob and give him his chores then tell him I was now the official cook but that I was going out and had prepared snacks for him and Maureen.As I walked past the sex shop, I noticed the door was partly open. Popping my head around the door I asked if he would sell me a vibrator. He told me they had a special on at the. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelinblindfolded? A. You don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention.Q. What’s the difference between a lawn mower and a bagpipe? A. You can tune the lawn mower.Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust fordirections: an in-tune bagpipe player, an out-of-tunebagpipe player, or Santa Claus? A. The out-of-tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate youhave been hallucinating.Q. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe? A. Add vibrato.Q. What’s the definition of a gentleman? A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn’t.Q. What’s the difference between a dead snake in the road anddead bagpiper in the road? A. Skid marks in front of the snake.Q. What’s the difference between a dead bagpiper in the roadand a dead country singer in the road? A. The country singer may have been on the way to a recordingsession.Q. What’s the range of a bagpipe? A. Twenty yards if you have a good arm.Q. Why are bagpipers.
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